Dear Readers,
I keep rewriting this because I keep thinking about it. I'm not sure where it's going. If you're checking to see if I've written anything new, you might want to read this again, because it keeps changing. And I don't seem to be able to move on to a new idea yet. This one is still percolating. So I'm afraid that rewrites of this are all you're going to get until I'm done. I hope it's interesting.
Xanny
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Body: Oh, my God!
Me: What?
Body: What the Hell?!
Me: What?! What's the matter?!
Body: We're not pregnant!
Me: Oh. That.
Body: I SAID, WE'RE NOT PREGNANT!!!
Me: I know. I didn't think we were pregnant.
Body: WHAT?! I CAN'T BELIEVE WE'RE NOT PREGNANT AGAIN!
[cramps]
Body: WHY? WHY? WHY?
[headache]
Body: I HATE IT WHEN THIS HAPPENS!
Me: Groan...
Body: (grumbles) Every month! Not pregnant! I can't even believe this happened to me again.
Me: Seriously, body? This shouldn't come as a surprise anymore. We're almost forty. Isn't this done yet?
Body: I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU WANT! We have one job! ONE JOB!
Me: Program Coordinator?
Body: NO! Give me chocolate.
Me: Okay.
Body: And salt. Eat some pizza!
Me: We're getting pimples. Maybe we should stop. Or exercise or something.
Body: No stopping! No moving! No thinking! Give me grease!
Me: But I like thinking.
Body: You like thinking? Think about how you haven't made any babies. And the other things you didn't do. Think about that time you meant to do that thing and you never did.
Me: Um...
Body: And those people who died. Think about them.
Me: Which people?
Body: All of them! Your grandmother. And the people who died in that avalanche. And the murder victims.
Me: [sniff]
Body: [Turns up the hormones]
Me: [Weeping]
Body: Oh, and think about all the things you have to get done. The refrigerator is dirty. I think you left something at work. And you're probably late for something.
Me: I am?
Body: Probably. And I think you also forgot to do something important.
Me: I think I did!
Body: Also there's something creepy in the kitchen.
Me: There is? What is it?
Body: I don't know. Something. Give me more chocolate.
Me: But the creepy thing in the kitchen.
Body: You're right. You'd be safer in the living room. Go lie on the couch.
Me: Yeah, the couch. Good idea.
Body: No, don't lie like that. Your back hurts, remember?
Me: Crampy.
Body: I think you're sleepy.
Me: But that thing I have to do! And the sad and the busy...
Body: You'll never get it done anyway. You never finish anything.
Me: I'm going to do it now.
Body: You can't. You have a migraine.
Me: Headache!
Body: See? You never finish anything because you're a terrible mother.
Me: I suck.
Hopper: [Coming home from work] Hi, honey! Want to go out to dinner?
Me: I hate you! Go away and leave me alone!
Showing posts with label writing. Show all posts
Showing posts with label writing. Show all posts
Wednesday, October 23, 2013
Saturday, September 14, 2013
Bleary post-fast post
Ive got nothing. Fasting takes a lot out of me. So does thinking about what I did wrong. I hate thinking about what I did wrong.
I hate it when Yom Kippur comes on a weekend, because it's the most tiring day of the year, and now I've lost a day of weekend getting all tired and instead of taking time to recover tomorrow, I have to catch up on all the stuff I didn't get done today like cleaning the house and taking Boo to buy a present for the birthday party I also have to take her to.
AND we have to help build the succah for our Temple.
It's a hard time of year to be Jewish. There's just so much to do when all the holidays come at once. Christians were smart to put their two main holidays months apart. Also to arrange society around them so they are automatic days off. (Although I do feel sorry for the devout on Easter Monday.)
But I'm here. I'm writing. It counts.
Hopefully tomorrow I'll have something more outrageous to rant about, like politics or education or something. Or maybe I'll be able to reflect more on why I'm doing all this religious stuff when I don't believe in God.
After the morning youth service today, several congregants cornered me and asked if I would help lead the youth service next year. While this was flattering, I didn't really know what to say because we have someone who leads the service (which I enjoy) but they do have a point about it being helpful to have two people leading--it helps you know, for example, when you're supposed to listen and when you're supposed to read along, and it can be helpful with the singing, too. And I'd love to do it, but it's not really up to me, is the thing. So I said thank you a lot of times and I guess we'll see if they bring it up to anyone else.
In the mean time, I want to see what else I can lead. I'd love to start a more progressive service of some kind. Maybe I should approach our youth leader and see if any of the teens in our congregation want to help me write a service.
We'll see what happens.
In the mean time, I'm going to bed.
Make it a great year, everyone! Inscribe yourselves for making the world a better place.
I hate it when Yom Kippur comes on a weekend, because it's the most tiring day of the year, and now I've lost a day of weekend getting all tired and instead of taking time to recover tomorrow, I have to catch up on all the stuff I didn't get done today like cleaning the house and taking Boo to buy a present for the birthday party I also have to take her to.
AND we have to help build the succah for our Temple.
It's a hard time of year to be Jewish. There's just so much to do when all the holidays come at once. Christians were smart to put their two main holidays months apart. Also to arrange society around them so they are automatic days off. (Although I do feel sorry for the devout on Easter Monday.)
But I'm here. I'm writing. It counts.
Hopefully tomorrow I'll have something more outrageous to rant about, like politics or education or something. Or maybe I'll be able to reflect more on why I'm doing all this religious stuff when I don't believe in God.
After the morning youth service today, several congregants cornered me and asked if I would help lead the youth service next year. While this was flattering, I didn't really know what to say because we have someone who leads the service (which I enjoy) but they do have a point about it being helpful to have two people leading--it helps you know, for example, when you're supposed to listen and when you're supposed to read along, and it can be helpful with the singing, too. And I'd love to do it, but it's not really up to me, is the thing. So I said thank you a lot of times and I guess we'll see if they bring it up to anyone else.
In the mean time, I want to see what else I can lead. I'd love to start a more progressive service of some kind. Maybe I should approach our youth leader and see if any of the teens in our congregation want to help me write a service.
We'll see what happens.
In the mean time, I'm going to bed.
Make it a great year, everyone! Inscribe yourselves for making the world a better place.
Thursday, July 18, 2013
Sorry, Trayvon.
I didn't realize until this morning how depressed I've been about the George Zimmerman trial. I had thought about writing about the verdict, but Emily Bazelon and John Oliver already said what I wanted to say, and better than I could say it.
It seemed that everyone I knew--in real life and on Facebook--was either silent about the matter or profoundly depressed. A co-worker confided that he had been crying about it all week. A childhood friend asked how she was going to explain this to her children. A friend of my parents who lives in Florida and used to work in the legal system spoke of the legal climate in Florida.
In the face of this, I felt I had nothing to share. Nothing new to add to the conversation.
And yet it felt as if the world was despairing, and I retreated to the habits of depression: watching TV, playing repetitive games like solitaire, disrupting my sleep cycles, forgetting to charge my iPod. And not making anything.
This morning I was trying to decide what to wear in the heat wave that's plaguing us, and I found that Hopper had brought one of my dresses home from the cleaner. It's knee-length and sleeveless, so I put it on. I got my hair cut short on Saturday, and it's a great haircut that always looks cute. I slipped into my adorable polka-dot flats, grabbed my book (because I had forgotten to charge my iPod) and I set off for the bus.
There was a horrible accident today that shut down a major highway in my area, so the bus took forever. But when I arrived in New York, I decided that I looked good, I felt good, and I should be glad I wasn't in the accident. Then I saw a young woman telling a young man in a suit to text her soon. He replied, "Awesome," and the look on his face was priceless.
I followed the woman out the door of the bus station and thought that watching a young man fall in love is a great way to start the day, and that's when it hit me. I decided I needed to walk through the park, past the dog run, because dogs don't despair. Dogs don't care about discriminatory laws or crazy vigilantes or even dead boys. Dogs are all about now. Sure enough, there was a poodle entering the dog run, his tail wagging earnestly. He didn't care that there weren't any other dogs in the park. He was going to get to sniff the whole dog park off-leash, and that was awesome.
Things may be feeling a bit hopeless right now, but life goes on, and where there's life, there's hope. We don't do Trayvon Martin any favors by slipping into despair. We need to get up and face life and make this world a better place in whatever way we can.
It seemed that everyone I knew--in real life and on Facebook--was either silent about the matter or profoundly depressed. A co-worker confided that he had been crying about it all week. A childhood friend asked how she was going to explain this to her children. A friend of my parents who lives in Florida and used to work in the legal system spoke of the legal climate in Florida.
In the face of this, I felt I had nothing to share. Nothing new to add to the conversation.
And yet it felt as if the world was despairing, and I retreated to the habits of depression: watching TV, playing repetitive games like solitaire, disrupting my sleep cycles, forgetting to charge my iPod. And not making anything.
This morning I was trying to decide what to wear in the heat wave that's plaguing us, and I found that Hopper had brought one of my dresses home from the cleaner. It's knee-length and sleeveless, so I put it on. I got my hair cut short on Saturday, and it's a great haircut that always looks cute. I slipped into my adorable polka-dot flats, grabbed my book (because I had forgotten to charge my iPod) and I set off for the bus.
There was a horrible accident today that shut down a major highway in my area, so the bus took forever. But when I arrived in New York, I decided that I looked good, I felt good, and I should be glad I wasn't in the accident. Then I saw a young woman telling a young man in a suit to text her soon. He replied, "Awesome," and the look on his face was priceless.
I followed the woman out the door of the bus station and thought that watching a young man fall in love is a great way to start the day, and that's when it hit me. I decided I needed to walk through the park, past the dog run, because dogs don't despair. Dogs don't care about discriminatory laws or crazy vigilantes or even dead boys. Dogs are all about now. Sure enough, there was a poodle entering the dog run, his tail wagging earnestly. He didn't care that there weren't any other dogs in the park. He was going to get to sniff the whole dog park off-leash, and that was awesome.
Things may be feeling a bit hopeless right now, but life goes on, and where there's life, there's hope. We don't do Trayvon Martin any favors by slipping into despair. We need to get up and face life and make this world a better place in whatever way we can.
Friday, May 3, 2013
It's that time
I have to write it. The obligatory post about how I haven't been writing. Every blogger writes it eventually.
I'm not really sure why I haven't been writing. I haven't been knitting either. Or exercising. Or advocating for gun safety. I've been volunteering at Boo's school and playing solitaire. Sometimes I go to work. Oh, and I've been reading the Percy Jackson books, which I heartily recommend.
My house is a mess. I feel fat. I'm getting the ache in my back that comes when I've been sitting around too much. I know what I ought to do. In fact, I swore that today would be the day I'd exercise. Yesterday, too.
But still...solitaire.
So maybe this is the first step off the couch. No, that can't be, I'm lying down.
Maybe this is what I have to do to get ready to move off the couch.
I'm creating something, even if that something is a whiny accounting of the things I've not been doing. Tomorrow, I have plans to spend the day with old friends in a favorite old stomping ground. That won't help with feeling fat, I'm sure, as there will be indulgences. But it will be active, and fun, and I hope that it will become another good memory that Hopper and Boo and I share with each other and with old friends.
And then I swear I'm going to clean the house.
I'm not really sure why I haven't been writing. I haven't been knitting either. Or exercising. Or advocating for gun safety. I've been volunteering at Boo's school and playing solitaire. Sometimes I go to work. Oh, and I've been reading the Percy Jackson books, which I heartily recommend.
My house is a mess. I feel fat. I'm getting the ache in my back that comes when I've been sitting around too much. I know what I ought to do. In fact, I swore that today would be the day I'd exercise. Yesterday, too.
But still...solitaire.
So maybe this is the first step off the couch. No, that can't be, I'm lying down.
Maybe this is what I have to do to get ready to move off the couch.
I'm creating something, even if that something is a whiny accounting of the things I've not been doing. Tomorrow, I have plans to spend the day with old friends in a favorite old stomping ground. That won't help with feeling fat, I'm sure, as there will be indulgences. But it will be active, and fun, and I hope that it will become another good memory that Hopper and Boo and I share with each other and with old friends.
And then I swear I'm going to clean the house.
Monday, April 8, 2013
Update
I took Wonderdog on a nice, long walk with Hopper today AND I played in the park (frisbee and soccer) with Boo today.
And this is my second blog post.
Take THAT, resolutions!
Also--beautiful spring day today. Huzzah!
And this is my second blog post.
Take THAT, resolutions!
Also--beautiful spring day today. Huzzah!
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