Monday, January 21, 2013


Since becoming a parent, I find I have two different headspaces.

When I'm in adultspace, I think about things like keeping up my marriage, politics, and the plot twists of Downton Abbey.  Today, since Hopper was at work and I was alone with Boo, I spent much of the day in kidspace.

Kidspace is a mindset that I developed when I was a stay-at-home mom, before Boo started school. Kidspace is all about Boo's needs--eating, getting places, and playing imagination games. Developing kidspace really helped me when I was alone with Boo all day, especially before she was verbal. Being in kidspace allows me to anticipate Boo's needs, but it also makes it more fun to play with her, because I'm tuned into her wavelength and ready to participate in whatever she's doing.

I think a lot of the conflict I have with Boo happens when she interrupts adultspace. Ideally, my mind would switch to kidspace whenever she walked into the room. When that happens, I tune in to what she's saying and I'm really present with her, and I'm the best mom I can be. But when I'm in the middle of something that requires the focus of my adultspace mind, whether it's something important like taking a call about a family crisis or getting my work done, or something frivolous like arguing with Hopper about Star Trek, it can be difficult to switch. Adultspace just lives in a different plane.

Since I was in kidspace today, I was thinking about things that are important to Boo, and to kidspace me--things like getting Boo to her friend's birthday party and then going shopping together for Hopper's birthday present and a special treat we picked up along the way. So it was a bit of a shock when I went off to run an errand during the birthday party, tuned in to NPR and found out that the Inauguration was going on.

Now, adultspace me was well aware that today was Inauguration Day. Adultspace me has been reading articles about Obama's second term, following all the new appointments, and wondering why the first woman to make the Invocation at an Inauguration isn't a minister of any kind. But in kidspace, that doesn't matter much. So hearing the Inauguration on the radio was kind of like coming out of warp speed. I had to reorient myself for a minute before I could catch up with what's been going on.

Honestly, I think that having kidspace is one of my mom superpowers. I'm not sure Hopper has a kidspace, and maybe most adults don't. I'd be curious to see how may people can relate to this post. But sometimes, it can throw me for a bit of a loop!

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