1. They are always happy to see you.
2. They never talk back.
3. They enjoy being trained.
4. They sleep through the night by 3 months old, and are potty trained by 6 months old.
5. You can leave them alone in the house.
6. Or put them in a crate.
7. They never complain about the food you made them.
8. You can smother them all you want without worrying they'll grow up emotionally stunted.
9. They clean up food you spill.
10. They don't go to camp.
I miss Boo. Hopefully she's having a great time. Hopper and I are watching obscene amounts of Doctor Who already. It doesn't bode well for our productivity this week.