Boo is going away to camp, and I'm sad. Happy for her, of course, but I'll miss her. So I've begun to strategize about how I'll cope, and it reminded me of the time before Boo, when we were waiting.
In December of last year, Russia passed a law that said Americans can't adopt Russian children. Because of that law, about 300 families are stuck--waiting and hoping that they will be able to adopt the children they already met. They're doing all they can to make that happen through legal and diplomatic channels, but in the mean time, they're waiting.
And of course, lots of other families are waiting, too, for various adoption processes around the world to play out so they can bring their children home.
This is my advice to first time parents who are waiting:
Prospective adoptive mothers have an advantage over pregnant women. We can eat what we want, drink what we want, and tie our own shoes. So go do all the things you won't be able to do when you have a child watching your every move and looking to you to be an example.
Walk around your house naked.
Ride a shopping cart down a hill in a parking lot.
Go out spontaneously and stay out late.
Blast loud music in the middle of the night.
Watch the news.
Eat in front of the TV on a school night.
Play video games for hours.
Go to a fancy restaurant or a bar or an R rated movie.
Run with scissors.
I know waiting can be agony. And I appreciate that our wait was nothing compared to what many people go through, especially if you're one of the 300 stuck families. But it's important to spend some time each day enjoying now. Parenthood changes you forever, and this is the last bit of pre-parenthood you'll ever get. Enjoy it. You don't know how long it will last. Do what you can to achieve your goal, and keep your eyes on the prize, but when you start feeling down, go do something you enjoy that you won't be able to do once you're a parent. It helps.
There's going to be a whole lot of swearing and running with scissors at our house this week.