Tuesday, May 14, 2013


"Most people are too busy being the stars of their own movies to worry about you." --my mom

We all see ourselves as the star of the movie. The camera follows us everywhere. We have the major players in our lives: spouse, children, parents, siblings, pets. Then there are the supporting players: co-workers, neighbors, friends. And, of course, the extras.

So when someone does something that hurts your feelings, you tend to feel like they did it on purpose. After all, everything in the movie revolves around the star! Therefore, the only conceivable reason that so-and-so didn't invite you to that party is that she was trying to make you feel excluded. Right?

Except for one thing. So-and-so doesn't know about your movie. So-and-so is the star of HER movie, and in that movie, you are just a day player. Or maybe her movie is about an invitation that got lost, or about being so distracted you forget things that are important, or about making the perfect balance of people at a party.

One thing is almost certain: her movie is not about you.

I have found this advice to be really useful in my life, so I thought I would pass it along. Give people the benefit of the doubt. Assume that it's not about you. Even if you know it's not true, believe the face-saving lie.

Life will be a lot more fun if you do.

No comments:

Post a Comment